Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Welcome to the Healers Corner Podcast with your hosts, Melissa Wiles and Maria Cerna.
[00:00:11] Hello.
[00:00:15] We are back for another episode of the Healer's Corner. We have Maria Celeste with us, our. Our wise woman of the hour.
[00:00:24] We are in part two, I believe, of your journey.
[00:00:28] Mm.
[00:00:30] I'm trying to remember where we left off. How do we get to where we get into part two?
[00:00:35] Okay, well, just a brief review from last week, and I really encourage most people if you haven't heard the first one, and I will say this through the third and the fourth, it's really important as we go through this journey and as I bring you to the cultivation of where my journey has brought me, it's important because it takes you back to the first one and it will tie in beautifully. So last week we basically. If you haven't listened to last week, I think it's important to listen to last week's to understand the original part of my journey, because that journey, that incident supports where we're taking you through the third and the fourth journey.
[00:01:26] So just to remind you what we did last week is to remind you I grew up in a very clinical medical family, highly educated environment, and very religious. Both sides. Catholic. You know, it was. My father knew where every Catholic church was, and he bowed every time he went, nod his head every time he went by.
[00:01:46] So I grew up with very two spiritual parents, and that's explained a little bit in the first one. And last week we went from my birth, which was in 1954, up to about 1993.
[00:02:00] So that will review that. So in 1994, I filed for divorce. I became a third order Dominican. And with that, I went to France.
[00:02:10] And while I was in France, at Lord's F. Thank you. Father Allen asked who was the spiritual director, asked me if I would take a trip to Turkey, do the pilgrimage through Turkey and Greece. And I said, father, I just changed jobs. I'm going through a divorce. I don't know. But literally, when I walked in the house and listened to my recorder, the first thing I heard was my church. Saint Alons Church in Zionsville, asked me if I would be a Bible study leader. And the book we're doing is the Foot Footsteps of Saint Paul through Turkey and Greece. And I looked up to heaven and I said, yeah, okay, signs everywhere, right? Remember last week we talked about signs, paying attention to signs. So I immediately called up Father Allen, said, I'm not saying I'm coming, but the church just asked me to do the bible study of St. Paul. And St. Paul is all about through Turkey and Greece.
[00:03:02] So fast forward a year later, I landed in Turkey and said, oh my God, someday I'm going to live here. I was mesmerized by it. And as a little girl, I used to. My mother smoked Camel cigarettes. And I said, mom, this isn't how it happened because those are Camel cigarettes and they're made in Turkey and the pyramids are in Egypt. And I don't get that. So that's always irritated me.
[00:03:28] So I moved to Turkey. And before I moved, I. I was at a Halloween party and there was a woman who was from Turkey and she said. And I was like, oh, I'm moving to Turkey. And she goes, where are you living? I said, I don't know. I'm going to go over. I'm going to stay in a hotel. She goes, no, you're not going to stay with me. So for the first three months, I actually stayed with her, which was another sign, which was just. It made it easy to move over there.
[00:03:51] When I was in Turkey, I came back.
[00:03:56] So I was there through.
[00:04:00] I moved to Turkey in 1998 and Morgan Stanley, I took a leap of absence from Morgan Stanley, so which was very exciting. And through that leave of absence and going over and being alone in Turkey, there was a slight conflict. And I'm mentioning this because to understand about German new medicine, you can. There's a conflict that can get hit. And the conflict was an abandonment conflict, which goes back to my birth again.
[00:04:30] And so that was an issue that I wasn't aware of at the time, but going back through and I mentioned it because it's important to understand how German medicine works. But that was an issue that there was a conflict there. And it was abandonment conflict, which happened when I was a child.
[00:04:48] So in 2000, I moved back to America because I came back for a short period of time because I was actually leaving America to go permanently live in Turkey, I thought.
[00:05:03] So I come in from work and on a Friday night and for some reason I had the news on and in the news it was talking about how women should.
[00:05:14] When they're in the middle of their ment. In between their periods, like, like 28 days, right? So about the 16th day, you should test your nipples to see if any fluid comes out.
[00:05:25] And I was not aware of that. So that night I'm in bed taking a shower. Well, I was in. Took a shower and I was like, well, let's test my nipples and see if any fluid comes out. Because it's a way to make sure that you have good breast health.
[00:05:38] Well, no fluid came out, but when I squeezed my left nipple, this thing popped up and I went, let's try that again. And it popped up again and I went, it's Friday night at about 9 o' clock and none of my doctors are around. And so I pulled out all my prayer. I didn't care what religion they were.
[00:05:59] Islam, Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity, they all came out on my nightstand. And I said, God, we're just gonna pray this away.
[00:06:09] So literally, I prayed all night, woke up, thing was still there.
[00:06:15] Well, I can't do anything till Monday morning at 8 o', clock, so just relax. So Monday morning I call up my doc and I said, I need you to come. I need to come in and check this. I squeezed my nipple and this thing pops up.
[00:06:30] So the thing popped up again and she's like, I think you should have a.
[00:06:38] What's that called? The mammogram. So we go and have the mammogram done. It does not show up in the mammogram.
[00:06:44] And so she's like, I think you should go get an ultrasound. This is all happening on that Monday. So I go get an ultrasound. Doesn't show up in the ultrasound. So the woman who did the ultrasound said, let's go get you over to Schmidt. So I'm sitting in Dr. Schmidt's office at about 4:30 at night. I call my friend who I call White Swan. I said, can you come with me? I said, I don't know what's happening, but I think I need to hold your hand. So she came and she sat with me. And Dr. Sled said, well, it's strange. There is something there. It didn't show up in the mastectomy, the mammogram, it didn't show up on. They did three ultrasounds. It didn't show up in the ultrasounds. He said, we'll do surgery. I said, I'm leaving for Boston on Thursday.
[00:07:25] He said, well, we'll do it tomorrow. So he took it out. We scheduled the surgery, took it out, flew to Boston. I was taped up. I get a phone call and he tells me it was cancerous and I'm in Boston with my family, right? They don't know any of this. And I'm.
[00:07:44] When the doctor tells you, it. You know. So the nurse calls me and said, Dr. Schmidt wants to talk to you.
[00:07:51] If the nurse tells you, I'm telling you in advance. If the nurse answers any results or anything, you're good. If it's the doctor telling you and the doctor's on the other end of the phone, it's like, oh. He goes, it was cancerous. You need to come back and we need to check the margins. And my brother walks and he goes, what was cancerous?
[00:08:11] And so that all started the whole role and being from Massachusetts, they were like, you need to come to Boston. You need to go to the Mayo Clinic. You need to go to the Brigham. And I'm like, no, wait, my life is in Indiana. Indiana has some good doctors.
[00:08:24] So the doctor went in and he's like, it was cancerous.
[00:08:32] I was like, yeah.
[00:08:34] I said, you're taking them both off.
[00:08:37] He's like, what? I said, you're going to take both of them off. I have a life to live and I'm not.
[00:08:41] You're taking both off. He goes, well, what if insurance doesn't pay for it? And excuse my language, folks, I said, I'll write you the goddamn check. Taking off both. And I'm. I'm just going to be done with it.
[00:08:53] He was. He was like, well, we'll see. So anyway, this is January.
[00:08:58] I go into the office and I. My manager's husband also worked there and he was going to take over my book because now you remember, I'm also leaving the country to go work full time in an investment firm in Turkey. Or at least I thought. And by the grace of God, that Tuesday, the fall. Well, I was in Boston and then I came back. So it's a week later. Mike says to me, don't say anything to New York until you leave.
[00:09:25] Because I was about to be totally uninsured in this country.
[00:09:29] Had I called New York and said, I'm leaving.
[00:09:33] Thank you, Mr. Burke.
[00:09:36] So fast forward to February.
[00:09:40] They. We did the double mastectomy. The night before the surgery, she calls me and says, your insurance improved it. We can do both. I said, great, you're going to take off both.
[00:09:51] So it was easy. I mean, it was an easy decision. And five o' clock in the morning of the day of the surgery, February 7th, live forever ever in my body. I remember that date.
[00:10:06] I called up Dr. Schmidt at 5 o' clock in the morning. I said, explain to me what you're about to do and why you're doing it, because you're about to take both. Both. I'm going to be really vulnerable here. I said, you're about to take off both my breasts. And they are very central part of my lovemaking.
[00:10:20] And he, He's. He proceeded to. Because I'm about to have both my breasts cut off. I'm like, oh, my God, we're really going to do this. And I have to be in the hospital in two hours. Are we doing this for. Tell me why I'm doing this.
[00:10:35] So that was a little bit of fear. It was a little bit of reality. I go in, my brother Robert's there, my brother Rick is there, My girlfriend Brenda's there, and I wake up.
[00:10:48] And if you ever have surgery, make sure they give you pain medicine. If you ever have a double mastectomy and you have your latissimus put onto your front.
[00:10:57] I thought it was going to kill the nurse. I said, you will give me pain medicine. She said, I can't give you pain medicine while you're in the recovery. I said, I literally grabbed her neck and I said, you will give me pain medicine. My back is on fire, and it's not comfortable.
[00:11:11] Go up to the room.
[00:11:13] They give. I get discharged. Literally, I get discharged because Vetta is the plastic surgeon. Because they did.
[00:11:18] They did immediate reconstruction. They don't do that anymore. They took off both breasts and did immediate reconstruction. My advice to anybody is don't do the reconstruction. Because for 27 years, folks, I have lived. Now I'm fairly active. Any. Anybody you know me, I lift a lot of rocks. I work out. I play golf. I attempt to play golf. I do a lot of stuff around the house. My back is constantly in pain. And it. Something my mother said. And I'm working on that. We're working on getting out of that pain, but it's because my back. My front's gone, and my back's on my front. And I can raise my pecs very easily because I just don't have to do my back muscles. It's. You know, there's fun little things that come out of this, right?
[00:12:00] So doctor. Dr. Veneta was. He goes, you don't want to hang around in the hospital? I said, no, it's the worst place to be because there's a lot of sick people in the hospital, and I want to get sick. So they released me within about 24 hours.
[00:12:15] And then my other brother shows up and he's like. I'm like, let me show you. So I start dancing, and he's like, you just had major surgery. And I'm like, I have to recover. I have to reclaim my body.
[00:12:27] And so I'm. I'm dancing. And he's like, crazy. And friends would come over. They go, how are you doing? I'm. I'm like, let me show you all dance.
[00:12:34] So I had this one girlfriend Who. And this is also some advice. She had had breast cancer surgery, and she said, don't look at the scars.
[00:12:44] Well, don't ever tell me. Don't.
[00:12:46] So I'm like, oh, I have to look at the scars. I have to see what I look like.
[00:12:52] And I'm like, oh, my God.
[00:12:55] Kathy told me not to look at the scars. She was so right, because it was horrible, really. I mean, the trauma that you go through, for me anyway, is they cut off both your breasts, and in your mind, you're deformed. But women, we're not our breasts. This is not what we are. It doesn't define me. So I was okay having both of them taken off. If I had to do it again. A little wise woman advice. I would. I would put beautiful tattoos here. I would not go through the reconstruction because for 27 years, I have lived with constant work. Ask my wonderful physical therapist who has been with me from the start, Andrea McMath. She's amazing. She has helped put back my angel wings because it gets. You know, you've got to watch your posture and everything. So really, if you're thinking I would do a double mastectomy because John Hopkins shortly. My mother said, I don't know why you did a double mastectomy. She said, but John Hopkins just came out and said, women who do double mastectomies reduce the reoccurrence of cancers by 95%.
[00:13:56] That's huge. That's huge. I did a double mastectomy. The reason I did it was I didn't want to look at my chest because I know several women who have only had one done. And they were like, oh, you used to be, and I wish you were. I didn't want that. I wanted balance. That was very important for me to balance. My left one weighed the same as my right one. They. They were both gorgeous. Thank you very much, Dr. Veneta. And my brother was really sweet. He goes, maria, you had the good ones to work with. And I'm like, oh, you were so sweet.
[00:14:24] That was a very sweet moment for my brother to say that.
[00:14:27] Not that he had seen the mother then in bathing suits, because we summoned all that. That's what we lived in, was in bathing suits.
[00:14:34] So.
[00:14:39] During that time, from 1993, it's important to understand that I was beginning to step away from the excessive type A personality I had in the corporate world, and my life began to shift very slowly into the spiritual world in balancing the two.
[00:15:02] And through my divorce, I spent a lot of time up at Chesterfield Developing my psychic abilities again, reopening my psychic abilities, which I think I talked about last. Last time. So during that time, and like I said, I became a third order Dominican.
[00:15:20] My spiritual life began to grow very strongly. And it was my spiritual life that helped me get through the.
[00:15:29] The word that's coming to me is tragedy. And I don't think it's a tragedy, but for some reason, I'm being prompted to use the word tragedy of having my breasts cut off. I guess it was a tragedy. And. And having new ones put in and my back put on my front.
[00:15:42] So when I went to see my oncologist shortly thereafter, and he said, I don't know why you did what you did, because there was a lot of normal cells in there. And I was like, it's a hell of a time to tell me now they're off.
[00:15:52] He said, but I want you on Tamoxifen.
[00:15:56] Well, I took tamoxifen for three months. And in my little world, and this isn't any advice to anybody, but in my little world, the two women that I knew, one I was living with, and her two sisters also, she had had breast cancer. And I. My house was rented. So I. Joanie opened her house to me. She was gracious to this whole thing, so I lived with her because I was supposed to be moving to Turkey, remember?
[00:16:20] So my house was rented, my stuff's in storage, and I'm living in a little tiny room in my girlfriend's house. And she had had a single mastectomy. After three months, the pain was excruciating. And I said to Dr. Schlitz, I said, doc, I'm not taking this anymore. In my little world, the two women I know that have taken Tamoxifen ended up dying of liver cancer as a result of the Tamoxifen.
[00:16:44] So if you're telling me that there's not any more cancer in my body, and I'm getting leg cramps that are so horribly painful, I'm in tears. And I have dentists that drill my teeth without Novocaine. I'm not taking this little pill anymore, okay? So I didn't.
[00:17:01] So fast forward, you know, so my spiritual life led me to doing a lot of things. For the first five years, I had no alcohol. I had no sugar. I was taking turmeric.
[00:17:13] Anybody has any questions about what I did during that time, I was taking turmeric and some vitamin E.
[00:17:21] And I put. If you've got scars, put vitamin, take, get vitamin E tablets and bite them, and then put that vitamin E oil on your scars. It really, I'm by the grace of God, I am five four and I have eight feet of scars on me and I did not keloid. I don't keloid. I'm very, very grateful for that. But also the vitamin E helps take, it keeps the scars really pretty.
[00:17:45] So that's a little bit of advice on that.
[00:17:48] So for the next 15 years, I journeyed with my spiritual life.
[00:17:54] I spent a lot of time developing my psychic and my mediumship and my healing skills. And people said, do you use that in your business? And I said, no, I don't. I, I, I never was like, oh, I, I would never did the woo stuff in the corporate world.
[00:18:12] But I think intuitively my intelligence and my understanding, I think there was a blending. Even though I'm not aware that I was using it, I didn't actively use it. But I'm very grateful for the success that it gave me. But I shifted and I began to do more retreats to take better care of myself.
[00:18:34] I didn't rest as much as looking back on it that I think those of us who have been labeled with cancer. I think it's a wake up call and I think you need to rest a lot more. I think rest is really important to wind down your adrenals, to wind down your thyroid.
[00:18:50] At that time I had burnt out my thyroid, I had burnt out my adrenals.
[00:18:55] So my whole immune system got all out of whack. I read ferociously anything I could get my hands on about cancer, whether it was medical or woo woo, I read it.
[00:19:08] And so there's a lot of information up here that, that has helped me in terms of making sure you exercise at least 20 minutes a day, what you eat, what you don't eat. And in a way it has made me somewhat a vegetarian.
[00:19:25] But during this process, because I sort of became a vegetarian the first five years, I was beginning to get fatty infiltrates in my liver. And Dr. Schled said to me, you need to eat red meat. He said, don't tell anybody but you need red meat. Your blood type needs red meat. So I really am very careful and I try to eat good, clean red meat and I still do that today. But I do eat a lot more vegetables and a lot more fruit.
[00:19:51] But those first five years I was so strict and I rested and I did everything and I was cancer free for a very long time.
[00:20:04] So it got to now fast forward, you know, I'm doing the dance with the spiritual. I'm backing off a little bit I meet Eric, and we ended up living together, which now we're married. And so we still live together 26 years later. The man stole my heart. I don't know how he did it, but he was very gracious through all of that.
[00:20:27] And there was one time that my faith really carried me through this a lot.
[00:20:34] Nobody in the office knew that we were dating. And Eric, for Valentine's Day, had sent me.
[00:20:40] For some strange reason, they sent 13 roses. I got 13 roses. And I ended up gifting. Gift, gifting him four. When I left the office, and when I got home, I had 13 roses in the vase. And I called him up and I said, I did give you four roses, right? He said, yes. I said, I. I walked in the house, and I have 13 roses. He goes, no, you gave me four roses. I said, there's still 13 in this. So, you know, God does really cool things. And so that was really very, very a fascinating event. And I'm like, okay, this is a God thing. God's going to get me through this. And. And I felt very healthy. I was healthy. It was 15 years before, before my next journey.
[00:21:29] And Dr. Schmidt, just fairly recently. I'm going to fast forward only because it. It's really interesting because he said this to me a couple of times.
[00:21:40] He chased me down in Costco.
[00:21:42] He literally. I said, oh, hi, Dr. Schmidt. Good to see you. He said, how you doing? I said, I'm doing great.
[00:21:48] And he chased after me. He said, I need you to know. He said, I cut you. He said, I cut off both your breasts and you didn't bleed.
[00:21:56] He remembered this, like, 23 years later. He still remembered. He's like, you didn't bleed.
[00:22:02] He said, you did not bleed. I said, oh, it's a God thing. Don't worry about it. So really, I mean, it's. Don't ask. He said, I literally cut off both your breasts and you didn't bleed. I said, it's a God thing.
[00:22:13] So that was really cool.
[00:22:15] So a fun little story to share, because you have to make this fun, right?
[00:22:22] So Dr. Veneta is going to take off the bandages.
[00:22:27] This is back is still in 2000.
[00:22:30] It's. He took off the bandages, I don't know, maybe a month later.
[00:22:34] So I said, joanie, you have to help me do this thing. So we went to cvs, we got little tattoos, and I put a little tattoo.
[00:22:42] We moved all these bandages and stuck a little tattoo there so I could have won an Oscar. So Dr. Veneta walks in. You know, these guys they go through hell, right? So I try to make his life happy.
[00:22:54] He walks in and the nurse goes, it's time to take off your bandages. And I said, Nope, Dr. Veneta has to do it. She goes, no, I do it. I said, no, Dr. Veneta has to do it.
[00:23:04] So Dr. Veneta goes, I'll take off your bandages. So he takes my bandages off and he gets to where now you can see the tattoo. And I start to cry and I'm like, oh, my God. You actually did what I wanted you to do. You put a tattoo. It was a little butterfly. You put a tattoo on me. I asked you to do that.
[00:23:22] And he's like, did I really do that? I said, well, yes, of course you did. He really thought that he had put a tattoo on me. It was just a fun moment to share. So if you have to go through things like this, folks, try to bring some joy in it to it. And he's like, oh, my God, you're crazy. I said, aren't all your clients, like, aren't all your patients like this? He goes, oh, no, they aren't. And he literally, that day, sat down in a chair and he said, I'm. I'm done doing breast surgery. Breast. He said, I'm only going to do augmentation. He said, I can't do this. He said, I just marked a 28 year old. And it's just. It's horrific. So for those of you who are going through this, have a lot of patience with your doctors, they see an awful lot of.
[00:24:07] They see.
[00:24:09] I don't want to think of what they see, but when you're in there, try to make it a little jovial for them because they're just. It's not easy. And I actually said to one of my doctors, I said, how do you deal with this all day long? And they said, drugs. I was like, oh, that's probably true, because they can self subscribe. But I mean, it's when you think about patient after patient after patient after patient after patient. And it's like they're dealing with cancers and it's the emotions that you have to deal with. So I'm just in there going, thank you for this tattoo that you put on. He really thought I had him convinced that he had put the tattoo on. So it's a fun little moment to just share a fun little thing like that.
[00:24:52] So from 2000 to 2015, I went in regularly.
[00:24:56] First it was every three months, and then it was every six months.
[00:25:00] And after about six years because the timeline is five years, either from the time you were diagnosed or from the time you were surgical that either one. Five years out, they think, okay, you're cancer free, or they say, you're in remission.
[00:25:18] So I'm now 15 years out and have grown quite intensely spiritually.
[00:25:31] Obviously moved back from Turkey because. Because. Because of Eric. I moved back from Turkey because of Eric, which is because we courted through all of this. He said, what are you doing to. To heal?
[00:25:44] And I said, I'm walking on the Monon. So he would go, well, I'll walk in the morning with you. So my friend would drop me off and the Monon, and Eric and I would walk, we'd go out to dinner, and then he would drive me back home nine months before we even kissed. He was my best friend. He was my confidant. I was dating other people, and I was telling him about it, you know, so. And. And he was just really patient about the whole thing. It was really very sweet.
[00:26:08] So here I am, 15 years out, sitting in the parking lot Thursday afternoon, thinking, I'm 15 years cancer free.
[00:26:22] Why am I wasting my doctor's time?
[00:26:26] And my dad, who's in spirit now. My dad never, ever, ever, ever talked to us this way.
[00:26:33] But this little funky little spirit ain't gonna listen to anything else unless daddy talks to her this way in this now lifetime.
[00:26:42] Not as his daughter, but this is like, okay, he's gone. I'm. I'm still his daughter, but it's. It's a whole different experience.
[00:26:51] And I'm like, I. You know, why am I wasting her time? And my dad's voice, like, I'm talking to you, says to me, you get your ass in there, and you get it in there now.
[00:27:03] And I sat up in the car, and I went, I know you're not here, but I can hear you. Okay, dad.
[00:27:11] So I got in this time, my.
[00:27:16] My doctor had.
[00:27:19] Dr. Schedge had gone to Stanford. He's. I don't know if he's still head of the Stanford Medical. So Dr. Newton was now my. Is now my doctor. She was my doctor and still is my doctor.
[00:27:30] And we were chatting and everything and lie down, and she's like, time to get an exam. Because we were chatty all the time because nothing ever showed up. So it was. We really didn't. You know, she did what she needed to do. And she was asking me, she said, you're still taking. I was taking CBD at the time.
[00:27:46] And also, people had told me during that first 15 years. You need to do RSO. And I'm like, I grew up in a medical family, we weren't exposed to marijuana and I don't know where I can get it. I'm not going to grow it and I'm not going to cook that stuff in my house because I'm not going to do that.
[00:28:04] And they're like, well, you should, because it's proven to. And I'm like, I'll do cbd, but I won't do that. So I found some CBD and by the tried to find some cbd, you can find it now more. But CBD is the cannabinoids that do help.
[00:28:22] They increase your immune system.
[00:28:26] And if you know at any given time, we all have. And this isn't a fearful thing, this is just a reality. We all have cancer cells which are just rogue cells that are running through our body.
[00:28:39] And our immune system takes good care of it. If you have a healthy immune system. Now, remember, I stressed out, I'm a type A personality. I've stressed out my thyroid, I've stressed out my adrenals.
[00:28:52] So my immune system isn't quite as active as it should be doing what it needs to do. So there you go.
[00:28:59] So just be aware of making sure. The reason I tell you that is to make sure that you're taking care of yourselves, that you are eating properly, that you're resting. Resting is so important if you're going, going, going, going, going. Which I'm learning to calm down after three bouts of cancer, learning to really rest and allow my adrenals and allow my thyroid to get back into their natural balanced state because I've burnt them out.
[00:29:32] So work on that and really understand that that's an important part of us staying healthy. But my immune system was out of whack. And so she's like, what's this underneath? There's a lump here. And I'm like, I'm leaving for. I'm always leaving when it's time, right? So that's. That brings me up to 2015. And so from 2006, my mom died.
[00:29:56] So from 2006 to 2014, remember, I was very, very good the first five years, very good, very religious about doing everything I needed to do to make sure I was taking care of me. And then mom died and eight Italians, eight crazy Italians trying to settle in a state.
[00:30:14] And I was the person in charge of the finances and I forgot to take care of me.
[00:30:19] So, Dr. Newton, in 2015, I was cancer free for 15 years. And the only thing I did was I did cbd. She knew I did cbd and I was taking good. She always asked, are you still doing your cbd? Are you still doing your cbd? Are you still doing your cbd? She was so cute about it, I said, yes, I'm still doing my cbd.
[00:30:37] So she's like, well, we need to have this biopsied. I said, well, we're leaving for San Francisco tomorrow.
[00:30:46] She said, well, let me see if I can get you downstairs to get it. To get it biopsied. And they got it. They. She biopsied it. It was up in my left lymph node.
[00:30:55] And I knew when I saw her take out the biopsy and put it in this vial that they put it in and it floated. I went, oh, shit, that's cancer.
[00:31:05] I don't know how I knew that.
[00:31:07] I really don't know how I knew that. I went, oh, that's cancer. I know it's cancer. So my husband. I went off to San Francisco and came back and it was cancer.
[00:31:21] So don't get lazy about taking care of you and how to take care of you and what needs to be done to take care of you.
[00:31:29] But because I did get lazy. I did. I got lazy. And 2015.
[00:31:36] It was actually October of 2014.
[00:31:39] So 2014, I get back and she says, you know, this is what we're going to do this time. And I was like, okay.
[00:31:51] She said, we're gonna do. We're gonna go in and we'll do surgery.
[00:31:57] I'm the only person, you know that's had a double mastectomy twice. I've had a double mastectomy twice.
[00:32:04] And I was. I was really quite in shock at that point. I thought, you know, I've done everything right. And then you start to beat yourself up.
[00:32:15] And I got lazy.
[00:32:18] I. I got stressed again, and I can't. So what they did was at the time, so that you can understand how crazy how you can go down these rabbit holes after it was by. After they did the biopsy, I also had a mammogram done, which is they. When you have a double mastectomy, it's not so comfortable. Get a mammogram done. They've got this other machine where you drop into it so they don't squish the implants.
[00:32:47] And it showed that my left breast was leaking silicone.
[00:32:54] If I had to do it again and if I was going to do implants, don't put in silicone, I'll tell you why.
[00:33:02] And I was like, oh, I Know when I punctured it, there was a time Eric and I were working out in the yard and I was in the garage and I move really fast and I moved fast and I whacked it against a rake and I went, oh, Eric. I just punctured my implant.
[00:33:21] It was quite painful.
[00:33:23] And I thought, I gotta call Veneta tomorrow.
[00:33:26] That was seven years earlier.
[00:33:29] And I hadn't called him.
[00:33:31] And so I was like, okay. Now, 15 years later, there's a leak. It's silicone. I spent an entire night, it was a Saturday night, it was a Friday night, looking up. There's got to be research. There's got to be research. There's got to be research. And I found Dr. Bo, Bo Bower, Dr. Bear, because it was, it reminded me of the Bear Aspirin Company.
[00:33:54] I think his name was Paul Bear.
[00:33:56] And he had done a small study.
[00:34:01] And I'm sharing all this so you can put some of the medical pieces together. He had done an 18 person study of people who had silicone implants that had an issue with their thyroid that also showed up as cancer.
[00:34:19] And I'm like, well, two years ago we tested my thyroid and we actually did a biopsy on my thyroid because it was inflamed, not even associating it with the silicone. Silicone is not good for the body. Silicone is not good for the body. So ladies, if you have silicone implants, think about replacing them with saline. I know they're, they don't make quite as pretty as a breast and they make a little bit more noise. But I'm telling you, if you get a leak in your silicon, in your silicone implants, get them out. Seriously, because that's what caused the problem with the thyroid and the leakage. And Dr. Bauer, I emailed him that night and I said, I'm a walking statistic. I have silicone implants. The silicone leaked. I had an issue with my thyroid. Can we talk? Because it was now diagnosed as cancer again. And can we talk? And literally the next day at 8 o' clock in the morning, that man called me and we spent about two hours on the phone. The bottom line was he said, yeah, he said, that's what we have found. That silicone in the body causes the leaching to the thyroid, which causes a problem. And if you've got a thyroid problem a lot, there's a correlation between issue with the thyroid, low vitamin D and cancers.
[00:35:44] And I, I'm trying to think in my little medical brain that's doesn't have any professional medicalism other than it's like, I wonder how that's related. But it is related. There is correlations there. So just be aware of that. And I now take 10 milligrams.
[00:35:59] I think it's 10 milligrams, 10,000 of vitamin D. But you got to take it with the K for it to work or just go outside every day for 20 minutes, because that will help.
[00:36:11] So he said, if at the end of it, he said, maria, he said, what was the diagnosis? I said, well, they did say there was cancer in it. He said, then. Then do what they tell you to do. It's like.
[00:36:22] Which was chemotherapy and radiation.
[00:36:27] So it's like, okay, all right, Doc, you want me to do chemotherapy? You want me to do radiation?
[00:36:39] So I signed up for chemotherapy. And literally the Friday before, it's Friday afternoon, I'm supposed to go in now, this is 2014. I'm supposed to go in on Monday to get the fort done and all that stuff. And I call them up on Friday afternoon, and I'm like, I'm not doing it. I'm gonna. I know there's other ways to do it. The first time, I knew I wasn't strong enough to fight my medical family, knowing that there was an alternative way to fight this, an alternative way to heal through this. And I thought, God, I know that I'm not strong enough to go in to do me work and also fight a very medical family.
[00:37:24] So I opted for the double mastectomy. Take them off. And I thought, no, I'm not doing it. This. I'm taking care of me. So I called up the doctor, I said, I'm not doing chemotherapy. I come home and I told Eric, I said, I called up the doctor, I said, I'm not doing chemotherapy. He said, don't you think you ought to tell your family you've made this decision?
[00:37:41] And I'm like, why?
[00:37:43] He said, because they probably should know. And I'm like, yeah, okay.
[00:37:49] Sometimes I listen to Eric. So I called up Robert and I said, robert, I canceled the chemotherapy. I'm gonna. I'm gonna pray it away.
[00:37:57] He's like, you get on that horse and you ride it.
[00:38:03] And I went, oh, that's my dad speaking again.
[00:38:06] Because my dad will speak through my brother. So I called the backup.
[00:38:10] And remember, I called him. It was about 3 o' clock on a Friday afternoon, and now it's about five.
[00:38:15] And I'm like, can you get me back in on Monday? She goes, I don't know. Let me see so by the grace of God, we got back in on Monday, and I got my port.
[00:38:24] And that's.
[00:38:26] That was October of 2017, 2014.
[00:38:32] It was October 17th of 2014.
[00:38:36] And I am scheduled for five first chemotherapy.
[00:38:41] You know, we sell crystals and minerals, right?
[00:38:44] And I'm. The first chemotherapy is the Thursday before Victory of Light.
[00:38:52] And if any of you know Victory of Light and how busy we used to be at Victory of Light, I'm like, oh, sure, I can do this.
[00:38:59] Because I know that the first chemotherapy isn't bad.
[00:39:03] I know enough to know that it's not bad.
[00:39:06] It's the last one that's the worst one because it builds up in your system.
[00:39:11] I thought, I can do this, but I did. I told Victor, I said, victor, I don't want anybody to know, but I'm having chemotherapy on Thursday.
[00:39:19] We will be over and to set up on Friday and Saturday. And if any of you ever done Victory of Light or have gone to Victory of Light, and this is back in 2014, it was the biggest metaphysical show in the Middle East.
[00:39:32] In the Midwest, not the Middle east, in the Midwest. And it was crazy. It was crazy. How I did it, I don't know. But I'm very grateful. I'm very, very grateful for being able to get through that. And CB helped and my husband helped, and it was an interesting time to go through all of that.
[00:39:54] That brings us up to my second experience with going through chemotherapy. The first experience going through chemotherapy. And it was. It. It was horrible.
[00:40:07] It was horrible. And I. I'm not going to sit here and lie and tell you that chemotherapy was easy.
[00:40:13] I thought I could do it. I really thought I could do it. So Friday, you know, we set up and I.
[00:40:19] And at this point, we have 13 tables. So if any of you. Back in 2014, we were in the prime of the business.
[00:40:28] We had 13 tables and it was wall to wall crystals. And Eric and I, 16 man hours to set it up.
[00:40:36] And it just.
[00:40:38] So Saturday I'm there and I'm. I'm like, okay, how am I going to get through the rest of the day? And thank God, at this point, three little old women, they'll probably hate me for saying that from my church, come up and say, you need to take marijuana.
[00:40:58] You're going to be on chemotherapy. And I went, hold it. I come from a medical family. That stuff was off limits. Let me talk to my family about it. So I talked to my family and I said, you know, apparently it keeps you from vomiting. It's supposed to be really good to help you not have the vomits and not get sick.
[00:41:17] And I'm like, what do you think? I mean, what do you think? And my doc is like, it's not legal in Indiana.
[00:41:26] I can write you a script for the legal stuff. There's a, there's a, there's a man made pill that they have. And apparently it doesn't. I don't know if I never took that. She goes, I can't tell you not to do it. And I can't tell you to do it. It's illegal in Indiana. I said, well, my church thinks I should do it. And I'll ask my family. My family's like, why not?
[00:41:46] It's a plant from God. Give it a try.
[00:41:49] So for any of you out there, this little woman who grew up in a very Catholic, very Catholic has nothing to do with it. I don't know why I said that, but we were very, you know, my dad, we worked. He.
[00:42:04] It was just off limits.
[00:42:07] And so I'm like, okay, dad, we're going to do this. I will tell you.
[00:42:11] When I would sit in the chemotherapy, you know, you're in one big booth if you, if you want to be.
[00:42:19] And these women would talk about how they were sick for four days on the bathroom floor.
[00:42:25] Being so, so sick.
[00:42:29] I couldn't say anything to them. It's not legal in Indiana.
[00:42:34] I couldn't say, dudes, try this. It really works. I never, ever, ever got sick.
[00:42:43] Never got sick.
[00:42:44] And, and I, I maintained my weight through all of it. And I truly thank those three women at the church that got it for me. They got me a little, it came from Colorado. It was a little bite, bite or vape penny. And it had, you know, you attached it and you smoked it, which probably wasn't a good thing because it was going into my lungs. But the thing was, I never, ever got sick. In the first four days after chemo, I basically was in bed. And then I would get up and try to be just my normal happy self because that's what I needed to do to survive. But through that period of time, Eric took care of everything.
[00:43:24] Everything I did not. All I had to do was sleep and take care of me and thank God for Beachbody. That T25 Shanti became my best friend. Through T25. Those first four days, I didn't get out of bed. But the next eight days, I was doing T25 every day. I was making sure I was eating, I was, you know, biting. And one day Eric went off to.
[00:43:49] It was really funny. One time he went off to play racquetball, and we have an alarm in the house. And for some reason, he set the alarm off when he set the alarm when he left the house.
[00:44:04] And I moved in bed, and the alarm went off, and I went, oh, Eric, you said, here's this boy. Here I am in bed. And he. He's a control freak, so he can't control anything. If I'm feeling. I'm like, you need to go play racquetball. Go play racquetball. It's good for you. I'll be fine.
[00:44:19] And he didn't turn the alarm on right. And when I moved, the alarm went off.
[00:44:26] That was just a funny moment. I said, dude, you didn't set the alarm right when you left. He goes, yeah, I know. I'm sorry. And I was like, don't worry about it. It's yours. You're going through this as I'm going through it. So understand that when you're going through it, everybody around you goes through it.
[00:44:41] And don't hesitate to ask for help.
[00:44:45] It's very important to ask for help. It's one of the things that I've learned to really allow myself to be vulnerable and ask for help. If people wanted to bring me a food or they wanted to help out, Eric. We were both very open to it and very grateful for neighbors that brought over meals and friends, that whatever was necessary was absolutely.
[00:45:07] I'm very good at giving help. I was not very good at receiving help, and it really taught me to learn how to receive help. So if you're going through any kind of illness, allow yourselves to be open to the people helping you.
[00:45:21] So that brings us up to a good part of going through the chemotherapy. And it wasn't pretty. It was. I made sure that before I went into chemotherapy that I had all of the food I was going to need.
[00:45:41] I knew that because I had. I reached out to people that had gone through it. I said, tell me what to expect.
[00:45:47] Tell me what I need to know so that I can make sure that I've got what is going to be comfortable around me. I set up a whole nother table by my bed that had my mints on it, that had popcorn. Popcorn was my best friend. And mints and mint tea. Things to keep your stomach. Ginger, ginger, ginger.
[00:46:07] Ginger snaps and ginger gum. And my oncologist gave me, you know, when you. You. You wear those things when you're. When you're seasick. I had those. And she gave me some medicine to take if I had it. But that marijuana really, seriously, seriously saved my ass. That and Shakeology.
[00:46:26] Shakeology had everything in it that I needed. And I did Shakeology every day. And the stuff in Shakeology really, really saved, really kept me healthy and kept and kept. Built up my immune system because chemotherapy, you know, I don't know if I would do chemotherapy again based on where this, this is going to take you and I'm going to share this with you, but I'm grateful that I did because I can help people that go through it. The first four were I. The first four were Adriamy and the last four were Taxol.
[00:47:01] And the Taxol was horrific.
[00:47:05] The Taxol. I felt like I had been run over by a Mack truck, literally. If you've ever, if you've ever had the flu, it's like 10,000 times worse than the flu. You know how your body just aches. I literally ached and I got thrushed twice because you're literally killing your body.
[00:47:22] So there's thrush and thrush is like yeast in the mouth and it's so fun. Not so I, I really have to thank the marijuana because it really, it a couple of things that it did and I talk about it in the book that I read through all of this. I actually ended up writing a book which is available on Amazon.
[00:47:44] Not that I'm promoting it, but it will tell you about the stones that I used because they were my best friends and I'm looking for them as I know the stones that I used to.
[00:47:53] I still have. I still. I kept some of those because they just, you know, the blue calcite, the blue aqua calcite I rubbed on my face every day because that helps with the bones. And one of the things that chemo does is goes after fast producing cells and your bones are fast producing cells. So I didn't want to lose my teeth. And it's really interesting. Every two weeks when you'd go in, my doctor would she take my socks off and she'd look at my toes and she'd look at my fingers and. And after about the third or fourth week, I said, why are you always looking at my toes and my fingers? She.
[00:48:27] She said, well, one of the side effects of chemotherapy is usually, can you lose your nails? I'm like, oh, now you tell me. But I never knew that. I never lost my nails and I never lost my toenails. However, I did lose my implant because the implant had bone graft around it and that bone is fast producing cells and it destroyed the bone that was holding the implant. And so I had to get a second implant.
[00:48:57] But one time Eric went off. It was a Sunday morning, and I was like, eric, you go play racquetball. And this was in my third chemo.
[00:49:05] So it's my sixth week. You go play racquetball, and I will make zucchini bread.
[00:49:13] So I'm trying to do this whole, you know, be my jolly old self.
[00:49:17] And this. My brother calls. My brother Robert. He's calls.
[00:49:22] And as he's calling this wave of. Because I didn't. Had. Didn't do any marijuana, this wave of nausea came over me, and I'm like, robert, I have to call you back.
[00:49:33] I ran, literally ran into the bedroom, took two puffs of this vape thing, lie down on the floor, and it subsided. And then I called my brother back. I said, that's as close as I want to get to throwing up with chemo.
[00:49:50] And I just wanted to tell these women, oh, my God. But I didn't know if their husbands worked for the FBI or the police station or whatever, because it's illegal. And so I just felt so bad to listen to their stories. So if you can, I would highly recommend medical marijuana.
[00:50:07] And I pray. I know it's legal in Ohio and I know it's legal in Michigan and it's legal in Illinois. It is still not legal in Indiana. But medical marijuana, literally, with shakeology and the love of my husband and my family and my friends, and popcorn because your mouth tastes like nickel. Oh, it's awful with. With mints.
[00:50:30] So that brings us up to the second bout with cancer.
[00:50:36] And we did Shakeology. Got absolutely, absolutely, absolutely it worked.
[00:50:44] It's one of the reasons I'm here today. And it really, I swear, if you look in the ingredients in Shakeology and somebody just reached out to me that there's something better out there that Shakeology, and I'm like, ooh, that's going to be a really good thing. Because Shakeology, if you look at the ingredients in Shakeology, and I loved their green moss one, but they don't make the green one anymore because of the protein fat combination was excellent.
[00:51:09] It's really got. It's got everything you really need. And if you're not a big vegetable person, do a. Do a protein shake and you. You can go find your beachbody coach. I don't do that anymore. I just buy the Shakeology.
[00:51:22] It really is. It's. It's very good stuff.
[00:51:27] So that brings you up to 2015, 2017 is time frame in there.
[00:51:34] And next week we'll talk about my third bout and, and where we got. But that's all going to lead up to meanwhile digging deeper and deeper and bringing you to German new medicine. So I'm excited to have you continue to learn about my journey that hopefully it helps you either with your own journey or helping somebody else's journey. Because really it's not easy for me to sit here and tell you all this because I have to relive it and it's not a lot of fun.
[00:52:14] But it's gotten to me where it is fun to be very present in life and to be very joyful and to be very grateful because cancer really is a wake up call. And if you treat it that way and, and really do your own work and your own internal work, I'm telling you it. Cancer will make your life extremely joyous. And I, yeah, I can just feel people wanting to throw at me right now, but my journey with it because I just. And I want to share that with all of you so that you can find the joy when, when life throws you lemons, that you really can make lemonade out of it. I, I think you just keep driving home the point. I think maybe we talked about this on the last episode, but it's like some illnesses are unavo. Whether or not you suffer. It is the choice.
[00:53:03] Yeah.
[00:53:04] And it's hard, you know, to find the enjoyable in cancer, but you can find it if you don't hyper focus on the suffering part. Exactly.
[00:53:20] And as you're giving us our timeline or your timeline, I'm sitting there trying to think of all the times in the beginning of meeting you, like where you were versus when I met you. And I'm like, were you seeing an. In my store just out of chemotherapy, teaching a class?
[00:53:36] You probably should have been at home relaxing.
[00:53:42] Yeah, probably.
[00:53:45] Yeah. But I love you.
[00:53:47] And it was just, it was, it was, it was the joy in my life.
[00:53:54] It was a passion in my life. It still is a passion in my life. And thank you for allowing me to teach at your store.
[00:54:07] That you're going to do in that store or continue doing that store. It's a great store. I love that store.
[00:54:13] I just wish it was closer. I was thinking that when we finished up, wouldn't it be fun if we were closer?
[00:54:20] Oh, we'd be in so much trouble.
[00:54:23] We would. But it was.
[00:54:25] We would be the crazy old ladies that like the nursing homes would be like, oh God, they're away.
[00:54:33] And make them laugh.
[00:54:37] Here's another, here's another show. You need to watch Paramount Landman.
[00:54:45] And pretty sure it's Paramount. Or is it Peacock?
[00:54:50] Either way, Landman.
[00:54:55] Oh, Billy Bob Thornton is the main character in there, but his wife on the show, she's extra. She's very much. And so was her daughter. But what I love is towards the end of season one, I think in the two or end of two and the three, I forget, they are volunteering at an old folks home and they are doing alcoholic bingo. They load the little A man up with old folk and they take them to a strip club and they purposely get the daughter's young boyfriend to get up there and dance for the old ladies so they have something to look at.
[00:55:33] And I'm like, I love that.
[00:55:37] All right, let's do it. Yes. And I want to thank you for hosting this. And next week we will journey closer and closer to the third and all of the deep healing and German new medicine.
[00:55:50] Well, thank you for sharing your story with us, willing to be that open and that vulnerable with your story and sharing that with everybody. And we look forward to you joining us next week for the next part of Maria's journey.
[00:56:06] Have a good night, everyone.
[00:56:08] Good night. Night.
[00:56:24] Thank you for listening to the Healer's Corner podcast. Join us again soon.
