Healing After Sexual Trauma

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Welcome to the Healer's Corner Podcast with your hosts, Melissa Wiles and Maria Cerna. [00:00:14] Speaker B: Hello, Greg. It's been a minute since we've been able to get you to join. You're a very busy guy. [00:00:22] Speaker C: Yeah, I am getting busier. It's a good problem to have, but it's always fun when we can chat. I mean, God, you and I have known each other. I was thinking about this earlier today. What, about 14 years, I think. [00:00:33] Speaker B: Yeah, it's been a minute. [00:00:35] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. But no, always enjoy it. And from my standpoint, always willing to help give input into what, whatever. [00:00:44] Speaker B: So here we have you back ready to talk with us. So I guess I should do our intro first, right? Just to get ready to go. Well, hello everybody, and thank you for joining us for another episode of the the Healer's Corner. And tonight we have Gregory Nicholas back with us. Now, we have a sensitive topic tonight. Pretty heavy and right off the bat. Thank you, Greg, for coming and, you know, sharing with us. But tonight's topic is healing after sexual abuse. And you know, Greg, we were talking a little bit before we, you know, started recording about how personal you really wanted to get into your experience. [00:01:40] Speaker C: Right. [00:01:43] Speaker B: No names will be mentioned. [00:01:45] Speaker C: Right, right. [00:01:47] Speaker B: If. If you would like to maybe jump in wherever you're comfortable, because this is your experience and how you have been able to go through periods of healing and out on the other side after this. [00:02:02] Speaker C: Yeah. And Melissa, I like the way you just said periods of healing. I'm 63. It happened when I was 7. It was a family member. I won't get into details. Of course. I was seven. A lot of groping, things like that. Thought I was asleep. And my family member. Let me express this to not immediate family. Okay. I'm not even talking uncle, anything like that. It was from a male, not uncle. I don't want to give that impression at all. It was from someone else who thought I was asleep and started. I'm not sure the right words to use here, ladies, but groping, whatever. And I remember being absolutely petrified as to what was going on. And I remember one evening, it went on three or four times, sporadically, thought I was asleep, would creep in, things like that. And again being that, I remember just being speechless. Okay, petrified, whatever. And then it quit the next morning. Acted like nothing was wrong. Okay. It was one of these events where his parents and my parents were very, very, very close. They would travel to our home, spend the night. You know, they would. Parents would be visiting, the whole bit. Not everything was fine. And Then he would literally creep in, middle of the night. And I don't know what the right word is. To a cost, whatever. Nothing like I don't know what the right word is too. And I remember being scared. Well, the next morning I didn't say anything. I remember him looking at me. And then as soon as I. They left to return to where they were about an hour's drive away. I did tell my parents and they were extremely supportive and extremely angry at this person. Okay. They jumped right on it. I mean there was no. Are you sure? Making it up, the whole bit. And I can still remember dad grabbed me and put me on his lap just to reassure. There is no blame or anything like that. And it was very, very reassuring. Again, I was scared to death. But my parents were right there for me. They got on the phone and told his parents about it. Unbeknownst to me at the time, this person had a criminal record. Not of sexual abuse or things like that, but of staging a theft in his own parents house. Okay. Actually stole things, put it on the curb, drugs, the whole bit. Years went by before I saw this person again. Come to find out he had even stolen from my grandmother. His grandmother, if that gives any clue. He ended up in jail. I would have to see him as we got older, from time to time at family events. Hey, how are you? Always kept my distance, never made a scene. But because by then mom and dad were very supportive, as were his parents, I should say too. Never any question, Liar. Nothing like that. I was extremely, extremely fortunate that he. Everyone was there for me, believe me. I think it's because they knew he had such a record. And it was about 20 years ago. Yeah, 20 years ago. Maybe not even that he died. I remember someone calling me. Are you going to his funeral? No, I will not. Okay. Now granted There are only four or five people in the world who knew what went on. 6 Today, if you could. My wife. But again, going through the trauma, the guilt, some therapy involved over the years, I will admit that. But what really, really helped me is the support of the family being there, you know, not. You're making it up. Whatever they did, ask what happened in detail. And I told them. I remember telling them. That's when I was sitting on dad's lap and you know, mom, I can still see the tears in my mother's eyes when she would. I told him about it, but it was okay. And again, there was just never anything about doubt or whatever. Now was there any, ever, any other attempt? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Okay. Because by then, this other person, he had his criminal record. God. He ended up in jail two or three times for other things as well. [00:06:39] Speaker B: Were there other family members that he assaulted, like, and was it kind of known that he may have this behavior and why his own parents weren't really surprised by this? [00:06:53] Speaker C: You know, that's a good question. To my knowledge, even to this day, Melissa, I don't think so. Here's the thing. I was the only male. Okay. He was. There's about a 12, 13 year age difference between the two of us. Yeah, I was seven, so he was almost 20. No, no other ones. Because by then, and in my family, I was the young one, he was the next closest. Even my own brother is older than that. No other fam. To my knowledge. No other issue of physical abuse. Now, theft, like I said it was. Found out. He did try and steal from my grandmother. Shoot. In fact, he did steal from her. I guess he took a couple hundred bucks from her purse. He staged, like I said, a robbery. His own parents house. But no other issue of sexual or. Yeah, sexual assault, abuse, whatever. I did find out later, before his parents died, that he did admit it. He did admit doing it. Now, he never admitted it to me and I don't even know if I would have wanted to talk about it, to be honest with you. The weird part is the older I get, the more flashbacks I get over time, you know, and it wasn't at the time, maybe because I was a kid and my parents, like I said, ladies, were right on it. Very, very, very supportive. I cannot say one iota. I had no trouble. And even his parents, I remember his mother the one time pulled me aside and, you know, wanted to make sure I was okay. His father had a drinking problem, but by this time had quit drinking and even wanted to know, okay. Made every effort to be nice to me, take me fishing and things like that and. But there was never any backlash or anything. Like I said, he ended up in jail. But nothing, to my knowledge was there ever any physical. His stuff was all theft, drug related, things like that. If there was any other incident, I don't know. But what really helped me and Maria, this is all Melissa too, with the healing, everything from the Reiki that I received over the years, things like that. Literally, ladies too. And we've talked about this before. Cutting cords. Many times. I had to cut cords between him and I many times. And it's usually when you have. And I don't want to downplay this, like a PTSD flashback, something like that. If that Makes any sense. And me doing this new to. Okay, deep breath. There's my psychic sword. Cut the cords. You know, don't let it bother me. But every now and then it still does. [00:09:36] Speaker B: Did you find for a period of time afterwards that you had a distrust of any males, like in that age range just because of what happened? [00:09:48] Speaker C: Yes. And you know what, Melissa, to your point, and this is going to sound weird, I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. To this day, I still do. Of that age. Yeah. And it wasn't all males. Like, it was never my father, never my brother, any of the uncles, nothing like that. Nothing like that. But just that one age group. And to this day, I still do. I catch myself thinking, huh, are you really who you say you are? It still happens too. Now, not as severe, of course, you know, 40 some years ago, but yeah, there is still a mistrust, but I still have to cut the cords, you know, and many times, doing the work we do, you know, when you hear about things like that, whether it be male or female, I still find myself getting choked up, you know, and every now and then I will tell someone that I had been through it as well. It is out there in my book. If either of you ladies have read the book, it is in it. [00:10:46] Speaker A: Yeah, I read it. And that was a very surprise. It was very surprising to me when I got to that chapter, that point in that job. [00:10:57] Speaker C: It's something I not. I don't. I didn't let out. Neither did the family. And even to your point, Maria, there were still family members at the time who were alive when they read it, had no clue. You know, we kept it at home, mom and dad, me, you know, his parents were fine. It wasn't like, ooh, don't bring it up. You know, you'll get a spanking. Nothing like that. You just didn't talk about it because it was handled and handled properly. I do have. There's some cousins out there now who. Who just actually recently found out about it and feel bad because they were little. They were little girls. I don't think they had anything to worry about, but they feel bad too, so. But in fact, the one thing guys and Maria, I don't. Mother's been gone 15 years. She died, Melissa, right before we met. One of the last things right before she died is she. She didn't. She apologized once more for. And she said his name, his behavior. So over the years it was bothering her more than me. And that happened about two days before she died in September of September of 2010. [00:12:16] Speaker B: Now, not to joke lightly on your age, Greg, of course, but, yeah, given that this was like 40 some odd years ago. Right. Therapy wasn't as easily accepted as it is now. [00:12:34] Speaker C: Right. [00:12:35] Speaker B: Your parents explore any sort of therapy help to help you get through and to work through the emotions and, you know, the flashbacks as they may have been coming, or the idea that you have may run into that family member at, like a family function. [00:12:54] Speaker C: Yes. Well, yes and no. Let me explain. And to your point, Melissa, you're absolutely right. I was from a very small town. Okay. In Pennsylvania. Very small town, too. And it was. I remember they made up some excuse, but I wasn't that stupid to. To go to the family doctor. Okay. And just I remember him talking to me. Were you okay? Mom and dad were both in the room. Are you okay? Hey, what happened? I hear, you know, something went on and that was it. That was the extent of it, to be honest with you. I don't know if there was any mental health therapy available. I just don't know if it was needed. Do I feel they would have said done something? Yeah. Or at least the family doctor. Shoot. This doctor delivered. He. There wasn't a baby doctor at the time. He was a gp. Delivered me, my brother, everybody. He did everything from babies to gallbladders. So he would have been on it too. Yeah, yeah. He often said to me afterwards, he looked at me like his son over the years, so if something would need it, I think he would have been there. But you didn't have the awareness or the therapy the way you do today. [00:14:11] Speaker B: Now, you. You mentioned that you have gotten therapy through the years. [00:14:15] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [00:14:17] Speaker B: What was your aha moment that you're like, you know, I need help in processing this rather than do it myself or stuff it in a box. [00:14:27] Speaker C: In my later 20s, when I first got into my career in human resources, okay. And seeing. Because part of my job was employee assistance program, and that included not only on the job issues, harassment, inappropriate behavior, but family issues, you know, some sort of addiction. That was my aha moment to that if I'm there to help those people. And ladies, we've all said this myself. Heal or heal thyself first. Okay? And I was able. That was my moment to talk because it was a free service to me where I work, you know, to get the help I needed, whatever. And it was, you know, a couple of sessions just talking through it. But there was no major breakdown or anything like that. So I did take it upon myself later as part of my Work benefit to. To see through it. [00:15:22] Speaker B: Now, when were you comfortable to share that with your wife? [00:15:27] Speaker A: Oh. [00:15:30] Speaker C: When? That's a good question. Because we've been married 17 years before we got engaged, probably about a month or two before. I knew she didn't know we were going to get engaged. I did, but I told her that as well, you know. And both of you guys have met her very like what. And I can remember her crying and everything. She had the questions like everyone else did. How did you do? What did you handle it? She knew mom. She never met dad because dad died in 97, so she never met him. And she knew my. She knows my brother, of course. How did you handle it? And that one time this happened just recently a couple years ago, we were all together. It was me, my wife, my brother and his wife. And we were just sitting around talking and brought it up. And to this day my brother gets very, very angry at that person. Very angry at him. And actually I was calmer than those three. I think my brother feels bad because he's big brother, 13 years older than me and couldn't be there to protect because he always looked at me as my protector. [00:16:41] Speaker B: Well, I mean just, you know, being a mom and I'm sure Maria, you're the same way. Just the idea of our son. Anne, Maria. Or daughter having experience that and go through that, it's like the instant rage. [00:16:56] Speaker C: Oh, Melissa, good point. Rage slash tears. I can still to this day see the, the tears, the anger and tears on mom more so than dad. Rage more with him as well. But then again, and my father was a no nonsense gentleman, you know, picked me up and put me on his lap. You know, they did not downplay it. Knew the gravity of it. And you know, at that time, two guys, they didn't know what would. What was going to happen to me. Yeah, what happened. But they did not blow it off. And I want to stress how fortunate I am and no I am was whatever to it as well. But they did not downplay it or make it up, you know, or knew I made it up or anything because it was admitted. And the big thing too was this person's parents were right there too. [00:17:53] Speaker B: Now what advice would you have for anybody in your position that maybe did not have the supportive family members around, around them who you know, are like, are you sure you're blowing that out of the water? It wasn't as bad as what you're saying. It was like, what is your advice for them to get their own healing, you know, going in a More forward direction with that type of energy around them. [00:18:20] Speaker C: Two different things, Melissa, Good question too. Right now, in this day and age, there's all kinds of services out there, you know, free, whatever. Here's the thing that if you're over 18, you know, you're an adult, you can do it. I don't know what to tell you about a child who realizes it. I was seven, you know, how does a child of seven get help if the parents are not believing it or for heaven's sake, want to say, oh, you're making it up or whatever. I don't know what to do there. But someone when they're older and as an adult, please get help, talk through it, you know, and again, it depends on the severity of what went on to, you know. And I know there are various levels. I understand that. But don't think you have to go through it by yourself either. You know, I was fortunate. I had the love and support. I know I still do with my brother and wife. I know it, it's there. But go, go get the help you can if you're older. The one thing now is, like I said, there are so many free services. Shoot, there are 800 numbers now. Aren't there hotlines out there? The Internet is full of places you can go for help. [00:19:35] Speaker B: I would like to think so. Like if a younger person is listening to this or watching that. School counselors, trusted teachers, school nurses, even, you know, your doctor, if you're going in because you got a head cold or, you know, strep throat or something like, like say something, you know, to, to one of those adults, like that, that's what they're there for. And yeah, I'm probably going to say this wrong because I don't know what the, the legal terminology, but I do believe schools, principals, nurses, doctors have to report anything that they suspect are told. [00:20:20] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. But to your point too, ladies, I had no marks, okay? There was no, how do I say this? No physical marks of restraint or anything like that. No bruising or anything. It was just me speaking up and them knowing that, you know, no doubt. And then what helped too was that individual's admission down the road. But yeah, I mean, and anyone listening, you need to don't cover up for them. And I understand there are various levels. There can be threats and everything made. I fully understand that you don't. When my situation, it was. We live so far apart over an hour. There was never any threat of that, you know. No. If you say anything, I'm going to hurt you or Anything like that. Never. I did not have that complication, you know, and that can be a whole nother factor right now in this whole thing too. But to your point, school counselors, whatever, once they're older, it's easy to say, brush it aside and be ashamed. That goes with it, you know, that goes with it, too. To this day, it goes with it every now and then. What did I do? Shoot, nothing. I was laying there asleep. [00:21:42] Speaker B: Right. [00:21:42] Speaker C: You know, but it's none of these things where you deserve or anything like that. And. But please get help if you can, and if your parents or family don't believe you or whatever, I. I don't know what to say. Just try and find the recourse you need because the big thing is, and people have heard this before, you don't have to go through it alone. [00:22:04] Speaker B: I would even say, Maria, maybe you as well, you get to know your, Your children's friends. And that mom instinct even kicks in for your children's friends. Like, you'll know when something's not quite right. And so maybe that's also kind of maybe a duty, a parental duty. Mom, mom or dad. Like, if you're noticing something's not quite right with, you know, the friend that's coming over and maybe they're wanting to stay over way more than going home. Why? [00:22:38] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, yeah. [00:22:44] Speaker B: And maybe that's. That's another adult that can help you if you're younger, is, you know, the parents of like your best friends or something. [00:22:52] Speaker C: Yeah. But you know what? Then too, there's always the trust factor here. Guys too, you know, regardless of age. You know, my parents, I'll say it again, were always extremely supportive of me, whatever. I was very fortunate. And I know that too, but older. What if they're threatening you? Oh, you made that up. And what if it happens again and again? You know, you have that. The head games going on that, you know, they're not going to believe me. Why. Why do I go about it too? You have to talk to a school counselor or someone else you can trust, you know, too. But what helped to now me later in life, guys, is the Reiki, you know, the, the treatments, the, the energy work. It really did, you know, and to this day cut the cords. I cut the cords not only because of that situation, but in between my readings as well, you know? [00:23:49] Speaker B: Yeah. Do you find that you may. And this is going to be a level of perception, right? Because I'm sure you don't ask all your other reader friends how many. But do you find at Times that you will get an influx of clients who have had a similar type of experience that are in. [00:24:08] Speaker C: Yes. And it has come out. Good question, Melissa. Ever since the book is out these couple of years and just that one or two line sentence in it. Okay, yeah, yeah. How did you handle it? Where did even some things. Where did you find the strength? You know, I told him the same thing I told you. I was very fortunate that my parents were there as well and believed me. Yeah, they do. And sometimes during a reading, I'll feel it. Not what happened to me, but with them. This is the empath. I'll feel it. I will not come right out and say it exactly because having lived through it, it's a difficult subject. But I'll say, was there some sort of physical issue that you had survived with to your favor? You know, and many, many times they say yes. If they say no, I don't push it because that's a personal thing. They don't know me, you know, but the ones who do, I, you know, I do encourage them for help. Whether it's something as simple as a hotline, it, you know, every now and then. To your, your point too, Melissa, that individual creep into a dream? In fact, one night couple years ago, after. After he died, my wife woke me up because I was yelling his name. I was calling him a few names too, I guess in my sleep. [00:25:32] Speaker B: I. [00:25:32] Speaker C: Mean, but you ladies know me, so you know how I can be. [00:25:36] Speaker B: I feel like you have every right to call him all sorts of things. [00:25:39] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. But then again, it's okay now. Is it something that bothers me on a daily basis? No. But just talking about it helps. And again, the Reiki, the energy work. Maria, you do a lot of therapy, Melissa, you're a shaman, so you can help alleviate that too. It's almost like a ptsd. But I tell you one thing that still clicks on me. Two is if any movie that just comes on, if there's any sort of accosting abuse like that physical nature, like a sexual thing. Yeah. I find myself just doing a quick turn like that and even my wife will catch me with that too. So do we learn how to cope with it? Yeah. Does it ever go away? At least from my standpoint? No, it doesn't. And I know there are various levels and you know, there was no restraint marks, hand, nothing like that too. But it's just you learn how to handle it and know that there is help out there. And I'll tell you what, when we put it in the book back and forth on that too. My wife was encouraging me. The writer, the author who wrote the book was very encouraging. I was on the fence because I didn't know at the time it was just something that needed that I wanted to make private. Getting that I was more and more public, more, more. I wanted to put it out there. But then I realized to the proverbial, well, if by me saying that can help a couple of people come forth and maybe learn how to handle it, then absolutely, it's worth it. You know, And a couple of guys too have actually come up to me wherever I've been and have read it and have said something, that something has happened too. But here's the interesting part. Not just with from there being a male from another male, but them being a male from a female when they were younger. [00:27:35] Speaker B: I think that's an often forgot about, overlooked. You know, it's still. [00:27:41] Speaker C: Yes, Melissa. And to your point, it's still. In my opinion, I'm not a therapist. It's still a form of abuse, assault, whatever, unwilling. You know, people think if it's between men and women or kids, consensual. No, it's not. If you're that young or whatever. No, it's still. Without using a certain word, it's still inappropriate. How's that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:28:07] Speaker B: What type of like energetic work was the first that you used or attempted, be it on yourself or had somebody else do for you to help with Reiki? [00:28:23] Speaker C: Oh, God. Good question. Probably about 63, 28 years ago when I first learned about Reiki, another metaphysical shop somewhere else went in good relationship and the energy work. And we got along really well, her and I. And she did it. And this lady was so intuitive, she did pick up. She said, you had an incident happen in your childhood. She didn't come out and say. And I said, yeah. And that was the first thing, the Reiki helping he cut it. And I remember the proverbial ladies healing crisis. Okay. That you feel letting it go, cutting it loose. But the first sign of anything like that was the Reiki years ago. Yeah. [00:29:13] Speaker B: Did that feel like a slow band aid removal or more of a traumatic almost again reopening that wound by that. [00:29:23] Speaker C: Yes, because it was unexpected, you know, Reiki. And again, I knew something about it. I didn't know a whole lot because by then, you know, I was still. I was reading, but I didn't know a whole lot about Reiki. But when that happened, it's like the band aid coming off too. It's like, okay, weren't ready for that, but obviously needed to let go. I didn't fill her in on everything, you know, kind of embarrassing. I don't know you that well. There are certain things you don't discuss, Even, you know, 20, 20 some years ago, but now the band aid. But then again, you do feel better afterwards. But again, I'm always fortunate. No one ever called me a liar. You make it up. None of the other sayings that people can come up with out there. [00:30:08] Speaker B: Right. Maria, do you have questions for Greg? I feel like I'm hogging all of the interview time. [00:30:15] Speaker C: Well, Maria, let me ask you something. You and I have known each other many years now. Not as long as Melissa, but many years. When we first met, didn't you pick up on something? Yes, I know. I remember that. [00:30:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:31] Speaker A: I did not know how to say anything to you, but I also know that it wasn't as heavy. The energy wasn't as heavy. Probably when you were younger, it was much more heavy because you were working and processing it through. [00:30:48] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:30:49] Speaker A: But it was still a lingering in there. But I did not know how to approach because we just got to know each other. I didn't know how to fill this and say, hey, look, did this happen to you? [00:31:03] Speaker C: Yeah. And you don't. And I get it, but. And this is something too, guys. All of us doing what we do, and we all do similar things too. A lot of times you can spot it on people. You know what I mean? Yeah. You can spot it. Now, me seeing the auras, I can see it. Melissa. I know you pick up on things, Maria. You're intuitive in your own right with what you do. [00:31:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:31:30] Speaker C: Yeah. But the healing is still there and it's an ongoing thing. Like I said, a lot of times you have to cut the cords, especially if some. You're out somewhere and you see somebody and it's really rough. If there's a client and you know, they. Oh, they don't have the best intentions, not directed towards me, but someone else, you know, I find myself armoring up, bubbling up even more, putting the mirrors up just to keep them away. And you feel sorry for someone, even whether males or females, you also would. [00:32:06] Speaker A: Pick up like a quality of that person's in someone else's energy field. [00:32:13] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [00:32:15] Speaker A: And that's probably why that a certain. A person in that certain age range, and it's not all of them, it's just a certain ones that you pick up. And you don't want anything to do with that energy field. [00:32:30] Speaker C: No, no, not at all. And a lot Too with me to your point. And maybe because I was a kid when it happened, I can pick up on that. More around children. Does that make sense? [00:32:45] Speaker B: Yes, yes. [00:32:46] Speaker C: More around children, you know, things like that. To this day, you don't know how to address it. Now if the parents say something while I talk about it. Absolutely to. With the parent. But I'm not gonna. We're not therapists, you know, the child, do they need help or whatever too. But the part that really bothers me is, and all three of us, we can pick up on things like this around people and the parents or someone else is sitting there saying, oh, it's not true. They're just making it up. They have a vivid imagination. Well, first of all, yeah, it's scarring that child, that person. And then to you as the adult, how are you lying to yourself? You know, very much so. [00:33:33] Speaker B: There, there was a person that I had dated who had a small child who I had strong suspicions but I couldn't prove. I couldn't like serve it up on a platter. But I would make comments about like, gee, that's awful weird that the little one is doing this or that the little one is saying this. Like that is not normal for that age, you know, and, and this was a little person who's parents were no longer together. You know, one was in a different relationship, I was kind of dating the other one. And I'm just like, oh my God, how. Because then too, you know me as that outside kind, like, what right do I have to say other than trying to stand up for the child. But I don't have any parental right to force anything, know. And I, other than quick like, you know, pick up in a parking lot and take like, I have no interaction with, you know, and yeah, it was, it was very frustrating. But, but I would say things to, you know, the parent that I knew and even those grandparents like, you know, hey, when Little Bit is over here. Have you noticed? [00:34:55] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:34:56] Speaker B: You know, and you know, I am no longer know associated with those groups of people and unfortunately one of the parents for the Little Bit, who was the one that I knew has passed away. So like, I can't even kind of be nosy, be like, hey, how is that little person doing? [00:35:15] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:35:16] Speaker B: You know, because it, it bothers me when I think about it and be like, I, I really hope that they're having a happy, healthy growing up. [00:35:27] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:35:28] Speaker B: I can't confidently say that. And it bugs the ever living out of me as an adult, as a parent, as. [00:35:36] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:35:37] Speaker B: You know, that's a light worker. You know, er. You know, Maria. [00:35:46] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:35:47] Speaker B: That with any of your. [00:35:49] Speaker A: Yes. [00:35:50] Speaker B: Your littles. Their friends and stuff, and they would come over. [00:35:54] Speaker A: Well, it's not so much the. The children that I have done distant healing too, but I did have a client. Everything just. I mean, everything just went downhill to the point that this person didn't even want to go outside, only to go to the doctor. That's how bad it was. And her. Her sister hired me, and she said, what do you need, Isa? All I need to know is her name and her birth date. It would be possible her age and what she lived, the city and state. She said, okay. So I gave her. She was. I mean, it got to the point that she couldn't stomach anything but white rice. That's how bad it was. [00:36:46] Speaker C: Wow. [00:36:48] Speaker A: She. I. I don't think. I don't. She's. She's supposed to be on medication, but I don't think she was taking her medicine. She just gave up. And that's what I felt when I stepped into her energy field. I felt this person gave up, just gave up. And I. I knew that if I did not do the healings six nights straight, it would not be a very good outcome. But in the midst of that, I saw a little girl. And there were certain things that I saw and I picked up, and I was like, oh, my gosh, I don't know what to do with this, you know? And this was the very first client that I came across that had this trauma. So I talked to her sister because her sister and I knew each other, you know, And I talked to her sister, and she said, you saw that? I go, yes. She go, no one else in the family saw that. Mom and dad, they try to help, but they don't know how to help. Yeah, it was. It was actually a neighbor. It was a neighbor that just happened. And I'm. I said, okay, I'm gonna have to continue doing the healing on her. So I did about another strain of nine healing. Distant healing on her. [00:38:18] Speaker B: But it's. [00:38:20] Speaker A: It started lifting her to this day. She is no longer cooped up in the house. She has her voice. She talks to her doctor. Not just, you know, whatever medicine. I'll take it if I want to. I don't. If I don't know. And she's. She is really paying attention, and she's having a full life. And that was. Compared to the energy field that I stepped into was really just gave up, and now she's having a full life. But it was that it was that trauma. It was that trauma and I saw everything and I'm going, I don't know what to do with this. [00:39:03] Speaker B: I. [00:39:05] Speaker A: Because sometimes when, when you do healing, whether it's in person or distant, and especially if you're doing multiple healings on, on, on a client, you don't know what is going to be presented to you. And at that time I wanted to know where the origin of this, where did it happen? And it took me to the childhood. [00:39:31] Speaker C: Yeah, I know it, you know, and it's weird. And then other people that have confided in me, you know, everyone handles it differently too. But I think in my opinion, again, the non professional, a lot of it has to stem back to when it was revealed, discovered, like I told my parents, how it was handled, you know, was it taken seriously, brushed aside. You have a vivid imagination, all of that nonsense. Oh, you're a bad boy. You did something to be ashamed of. You know, I was lucky. [00:40:04] Speaker A: Yeah, you were lucky. And this client of mine was not so. Because she did not know how to. I don't even think she said anything to the, to her parents or to adults. I think she had carried the burden of being ashamed that she did something wrong. [00:40:24] Speaker C: Well, you know what, to Maria, to your point, even years later, even though it was handled right, you know, and everything, do you still have that stigma up here? A little bit ago of night, did anything wrong? Like I said, I was seven, I was asleep. But the, the ashamed part, yes, you know, yeah, it's there. It still comes and goes and it may always, you know, I think we all just learn how to handle it, cope with it in our own different way, better. You know, I never went down the self medication route or anything like that, but everyone handles it differently too. But the big thing, again, to your point there guys too, back in my day, you know, way back when, you know, we didn't have the resources you could go to. [00:41:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:41:22] Speaker C: You know, it was all up to our parents and my parents were on it. [00:41:27] Speaker B: Well, I'm, I'm glad your parents were supportive of you, were willing to listen, that believed you. [00:41:34] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:41:34] Speaker B: And took immediate action. And kudos to his parents who were like, all right, are you okay? What can we do? And the constant checking in to make sure you are still doing okay. Okay. And, and when I say okay, I'm like, as well as you could have been. [00:41:53] Speaker C: Yeah. And you know what? But to your point to Melissa, his parents, even though they were all very, very close with my parents at times, and this is me younger they always felt close to me, which is fine, but almost at times a little bit too close. And I don't mean anything weird, but like protective. Like they, and this gonna sound weird, were blaming themselves for his behavior, you. [00:42:23] Speaker B: Know, that's why I kind of asked in the beginning if there wasn't some suspicions of him being inappropriate with other small children, small boys. [00:42:37] Speaker C: Not that I know of. Now I do know this, and this is going to sound weird. I mean, this. This guy got kids all over the place. So was there a hint of promiscuity out there and something. Yeah, but I don't know about if there's anything else with other males. I really don't. You know, I just don't. Well, let's just say this. And this is me being the anger. Every now and then when that person was in prison, it just helped me say, you know what? I hope you get yours. And that's all I'm going to say. [00:43:18] Speaker B: I would be thinking the same thing. [00:43:20] Speaker C: Yeah. And I'm not going to get into specifics, of course, but yeah. Because every now and then, you know, the anger would. Would come up. Things like that too. And it's one of those things I. And he did try. This is weird too. Did try to come through to me once that I recall, after he died. And I would not let him. [00:43:49] Speaker B: Like the nerve. I don't need or want your apology. [00:43:53] Speaker C: Huh? Do not look at me. To ease your mind and your soul so you can rest in peace. Because that ain't happening. You selling. So. Yeah, you know, now maybe that's wrong of me. Whatever. Think what you will, but. [00:44:13] Speaker A: You're human. Yeah. Yeah, you're human. You know, even though we are in the path of being healers, we're still human. [00:44:25] Speaker C: Yeah. You know, but again, it was like two and Melissa. Well, Maria, one of you two ladies said this to something like this. In my opinion, we're always healing ourselves. You know, that could be someone who has the unfortunate issue of PTSD from military or a bad accident or someone who died in their arms too. We're all healing constantly. I just think we learn how to cope with it in a different level. [00:44:51] Speaker A: Yes. [00:44:53] Speaker C: You know. [00:44:56] Speaker B: I do think the traumatic experiences we have also teach us grace, acceptance and. And being able to help others who go through the same thing. [00:45:06] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. [00:45:08] Speaker B: So, you know, it's like your clients that come in and they're like, I read about this in your book. Like I had something similar and maybe I'm not dealing with it so well. Like help. [00:45:21] Speaker C: Well. Yeah. And On a few occasions, too. And again, other guys, I don't know if they're my age or younger, who said the similar thing happened via a family member, too. And can they get help? Or how do you get over it, too? You know, and it's a very private conversation, you know, and I explained just what I told you about the family. But again, there are the resources out there to teach you how to handle it, too. And if some people don't want to do it, the very least I suggest is some sort of an energy work, like the Reiki, not as a healing, but as a coping. You know, I do say that, too, because believe it or not, guys, there's more out there than you would think that I've learned. [00:46:10] Speaker B: I feel like every time you turn a corner in the healing path, there is something new to learn, something new, something new to be like, oh, well, we got this. Now put that in the toolbox. Or like, how does this new thing work with this over here? And can they work together? And you know, that that's why I. I personally don't teach classes, because I'm like, I don't feel like I am a complete master in any one single thing to, you know, hand that off. I'm like, just hang around and watch what I do, ask questions. But I'm like, this is what I do. [00:46:39] Speaker C: Well, we're all learning. Yeah. And again, and the three of us have talked about this many times, even though we're all relatively veterans, guys, we can all learn from each other every day. [00:46:50] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:46:50] Speaker C: About something, too, you know, but anyone out there listening, if you have any doubt, please don't think you're going on this alone. Whatever, guys. Ladies, whatever. Okay. [00:47:06] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:47:06] Speaker C: You didn't do anything to deserve it. [00:47:09] Speaker B: You sharing your story points out a very important aspect that men and young boys. Yeah, this happens to them, too. [00:47:19] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:47:20] Speaker B: You know, and not to negate anything that any lady, woman, little girl might be going through, but, you know, it. It happens for. For guys, too. So it is just as tr. Well, it's just as important. [00:47:34] Speaker C: Let's just touch on this briefly, ladies. It happened in Youngstown not too long ago. [00:47:41] Speaker A: Mm. [00:47:42] Speaker C: It was on the news. Okay. It was out there, too, as well. And I remember that. And I think those poor kids, you know, they're all teenagers. Not only do they have the hazing, the rising, whatever, but what are they. How are they going to handle that the rest of their lives? They're adults. Are their names out there, College, whatever, you know what I'm saying? At Least with me, I was a kid, you know, no one knew these poor people. It's, it's out there, it's on news. Yeah, yeah. So it's like, yeah, get, get the help. And we all need various levels of help and treatment. Okay. Whether it's the counseling, the energy work, a medication, or a combination of all of them. [00:48:30] Speaker B: Yeah. And please, here's an important time to make the disclaimer. Like, none of us are doctors. We cannot prescribe, diagnose anything of the sort. And nor are we going to tell you to quit going to therapy seeking medical help and advice for energy work. Energy work complements, you know, medicine. [00:48:53] Speaker C: And for me. Yes. And that is how, to your point, Melissa, none of us are physicians or medical professionals. It helped me. Now, this is my personal thing. Cut, release, things like that, you know, and because of that, and then talking to various people over the years, such as the two of you, you know, you learn when you see something too, like, and it starts to bubble up, I take the deep breath and there's my psychic sword and I cut it. Not to let it go, you know, or the proverbial shake it off. Now, one thing, I don't know if anyone listening knows about this. I'm also a massage therapist. I can pick up on something like that when I have a massage plant. Okay. Is it rough? Yeah, kinda. But you also learn how to comfort whatever. And the proverbial there I am again, armor and shake it off. Because being empathic as the two of you are as well, I can't allow myself to pick that up. [00:49:56] Speaker B: Yes. [00:49:58] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, but you're Melissa, you're right, it compliments. Absolutely. Melissa, Can I just say something out there to the guys? [00:50:09] Speaker B: Sure. [00:50:10] Speaker C: Guys, it's very important to lose the bravado. Okay. You'll feel, you'll feel when you're alone, you may feel it with somebody else can affect every aspect of your life. And I mean every aspect of your life. Of your life too. You know, it's like some sort of a support group. And I mean it. You know, there have been guys that have come up to me who have read the book and know me and have said something to don't think you have to bury it or for God forbid, self medicate. [00:50:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:50:42] Speaker C: You know, that can only lead to more problems. Everyone. [00:50:46] Speaker A: Yes. [00:50:48] Speaker B: Yeah, I was just putting a really, really bad band aid on the problem and doesn't fix anything. Aid always slips and ends up coming off. And not in the most opportune times either. You wanted to. Well, thanks for joining Greg. And sharing my pleasure on. On a very heavy and serious topic. [00:51:13] Speaker C: Yeah. And if we ever need to revisit Melissa Maria, please let me know. You know we can at any time. And hey, look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Melissa Marie, are you there tomorrow? [00:51:26] Speaker A: Yes, I am. [00:51:27] Speaker C: Oh, my day shall be made. [00:51:30] Speaker B: Oh, now, now he's all sucking up here, wanting. What are you after, Greg? What do you want? You want. [00:51:38] Speaker C: Yeah. Nothing yet. How's that? I'm just racking them up for future when I do something. [00:51:46] Speaker A: Greg. [00:51:47] Speaker C: What's that? [00:51:48] Speaker A: I have your tiki. [00:51:50] Speaker C: Oh, thank you. Thank you. Appreciate it. Thank you. Yeah. But again, anyone needs anything, Melissa can get a hold of me. I am on Facebook. Although I will say this, I prefer not to do this over texting or anything like that. It's just a thing. This is my suspicion. I want to make sure who you are and I'm talking to is really who you are. Yeah, yeah. So. But no, thank you again. We look forward to seeing you ladies tomorrow. [00:52:18] Speaker A: Okay, yeah. [00:52:20] Speaker B: Thanks for joining, everybody. We hope you can catch our next episode of the Healer's Corner. And if you can join us live on Tuesdays, our normal time at 7pm Please feel free to join us and join the conversation. But have a great night everybody. [00:52:36] Speaker C: Bye. Bye. Bye. There we are.